Long time no see [review] [new toy] [catch up]

So I was reminded that this blog existed recently and after some thought I think I might try to keep it updated again. Some of you may know about three years ago I went off anything sexual after having a PTSD breakdown. I threw away the majority of my sex toys. I'm on a quest to restock and yesterday I received a new toy. She hasn't got a name yet, this is due to happen later today, more on that later.

Here she is. This is when I was just trying her on, the harness is a little bit too small it seems. It says it fits up to a 57 Inch Waist but it sits more on your hips. My waist is only 47 inches and if she sat there it would be a perfect fit but she doesn't. Anyway its not really a problem as I got her to fit in the end. I'm unsure if to name the attachment and the harness separately. I think I might. After a conversation on telegram this attachment may be called Candy or Flossy we shall see.

So the harness is the Bondara Plus Size Strap on Harness with adjustable rubber rings. This harness will turn any dildo you have into a strap on toy with three separate rubber rings that can be changed on the harness to accommodate for a range of different girths. Like I pointed out its supposed to fit up to a 57 inch waist but be prepared to measure your hips instead if you have a high waist like me and as a pudge cat also take into account your tummy.

Base Harness Size :13.5 Inches Across 
Harness Material: PU Leather 
Ring Diameters: 1.5 Inches, 1.75 Inches and 2 Inches 
Ring Material:  Rubber

I purchased two attachments for her, but I have fallen in love with the pink one so I think that might actually be my primary penis. 

The PipeDream Dildo and the Basix Rubber Gspot. The pipedream one has become primary penis. I love how it feels. If I squeeze it it extends slightly, if I wank it it moves with me, and because it's made out of rubber it takes on my body heat if I hold onto it for a while. I haven't tried the suction cup as this was bought for my harness. 

I wore it in bed while watching TV to get used to the harness and I felt.. complete? It's a hard feeling to express. I loved how it bulged under my dress, a lot like how I love to see femboys penis' bulge under their tiny little skirts. I kept rubbing it through the material and even though I couldn't feel the attention my dildo was getting it was having an effect in the pit of my stomach. Just the idea of playing with my bluge walking around with it made me a very happy kitty. 

As you can see it also has some amazing bounce. I couldn't stop pinging it at one point and playing with it. 

I can't stop watching, it's hypnotic!

The feeling that wearing the whole set up gave me, as I said is very hard to explain. I was cheeky, teasy, growly, dominant almost as the thirst in the chats I posted pictures too rose to levels I've never really had before. 

I began to think about the other attachment I bought. That maybe buying two wasn't' such a good idea. Until I did this. I put it inside me as I placed my bullet vibe on my clit and I masturbated my main penis. The pressure of the harness caused me to feel like I was really masturbating as I got clitoral pleasure as well as gspot stimulation. It was a pretty powerful orgasm and I found a use for the other attachment. I can't wait to feel if this works when fucking someone. 

Tonight I have one of my favourite play partners coming around as I promised them first dibs. I've only ever fucked someone with the feeldoe about 5 or so years ago and I hated it because you have to hold it inside yourself. It was very hard to do and to get pleasure from because you were concentrating so hard. I can't wait to try this on them. The idea of it has me pretty happy already, if I was wearing I would be bulging. 

So yeah, I'm hoping to keep this blog up to date with things that happen around me. Things I want to do. Ideas, erotica, dreams, reviews etc as I bring myself back into a sexual world. 

TATA! 

***As with all rubber toys, use condoms to stop degradation and cross contamination, wash them after play, house them separately (as if they touch other rubber toys can cause melting) and use water based lube. ***


 

[Swotr RP] Clea and Delilah

Clea let the water pour over her washing away the meeting she had just attended. She was happy that he hadn't just shouted at her or worse for her not addressing him all the time, but she knew once she got carried away on a subject she would just babble. The water was warm, it fell over her hair making it cling to her face. The bathroom was silent apart from the water running over her ears and her soft pale skin.

Delilah watched the girls shape through the steam from the shower. She watched as Clea just stood there letting the water fall over her. She leant on the door way just watching how unanimated her usual bouncy counterpart was. She had thought she was asleep, while she was in the office recording her thoughts. She got lost in the haze of steam and flesh infront of her for a few moments before lifting herself from her lazy position and stripping down entering the shower behind Clea, wrapping her arms around the girls smal fragile body.

Clea felt the air change as Delilah climbed into the shower, her warm body pressing against her back. The water fell over the two of them as Delilah held her tightly. Delilah moved her body, pushing Clea against the wall of the shower, it was cold against her skin, her nipples stiffened from the change of temperature.

"Did I do ok Miss D?" Clea asked.

Delilah smiled to herself. She moved Clea's hair out of the way leaning into her ear. "I love it when you call me Miss D." she didn't answer the question but preferred her actions spoke louder. Her hands moved, slicked by the water, to Clea's back pushing at the base of her spine so her back arched pushing her arse out. Her other hand snaked upwards, caressing the back of Clea's neck before gripping a handfull of hair pulling her head back at the same time she pushed her arse back.

Clea let out a moan as her hair was pulled her body obeying it's manipulation. Delilah's fingers moved over her arse, following the curve, the crack and two penitrated into her sex, curling into a hook and massaging that small nub of nerves on the inside. Clea let out another moan and Delilah moved her thumb to massage the outside of her puckered hole.

Delilah's hands moved, slowly; perposfully. She massaged more, her left hand pulling more on Clea's hair to make her arch into the attention her right hand was giving. Clea gasped and twitched around Delilah's fingers, her knees shaking, her legs parting to allow more manouvering. The water felt hotter, pouring over their bodys, slicking them, aiding them. She moved her lips back to Clea's ear. "He could never be me." Her words were dark.

"I remember when we first met." Clea said "Do you remember.... or do you forget?"

Delilah's hand moved a little faster, Clea moaned more, Delilah's hand in her hair keeping her upright, her elbow in her back pinning her to the wall.

"You were so perfect, so pure like an angel." Delilah said, recalling the first time she saw Clea, the club on Nar Shadda. "Yyou were like an angel and I remember thinking" her fingers twitched inside Clea, as if punctuating her words "I remember thinking... my god... she is just so beautiful" Clea began to flush a little at Delilah's words, Delilah continued "So fucking amazing and every night" her voice lowered to a purring whisper "Every night i would watch you"

"I would watch you watching me" Clea responded.

"...and we swore that nothing would come between us" Delilah's grip on Clea's hair tightened as Clea began to shudder to orgasm. "that no one would come between us....do you remember?"

Clea's body shook, Delilah's fingers finding every possible pleasure point inside her. Delilah's body the only thing keeping her upright in the hot water. Her body shook and twitched as she let out a long moan, bucking back on Delilah's fingers, feeling them fill her, fuck her, have her, claim her. "I was humbled by your power" she was able to get out as her body stopped shaking and Delilah slowly removed her fingers and loosened the grip on her hair.

"You once asked me -is existance all we share?-... you tell me" Delilah let go of her and turned, walking out of the shower, wet foot prints and a fire in Clea's belly the only reminder she was there. Clea slid down the wall, her legs unable to support her orgasm wracked body and the water continued to fall over her.

[SWTOR]Clea breaks into Urlocks Ship

Clea woke up from a fitful sleep. She laid naked, coverd in sweat in an empty bed. She checked the time and saw that it was past morning and Delilah was still not home. She hit the bed in a mix of anger and concern. Why the hell do I have to be home on an evening if she isn't.

She got up putting on some panties and a tshirt and wrapped the bed sheet around her, walking around the empty ship looking to see if Delilah was anywhere else. She wasn't.

Her temple itched and hurt slightly and her vision was a little blurred. She sat down in the social area wrapping the sheet tight around her and poked at her data pad. She read an old message, the good part of last night and the night before.

The empty ship made a banging noise which made her jump out of her skin, she decided she needed to get out of there.

She walked through the cold hanger, her sheet wrapped around her just looking at the different ships that were docked near by, walking through hanger, to hanger she saw the one she recognised and walked up to the door. She pressed her hand against the cold metal and turned, her back to the door sliding down into a crouched position.

She couldn't just go see this person could she? It wasn't like they were friends, he was a client, a team member of Delilahs. But she needed someone to talk to, someone to sound this niggle in the back of her head.

She rolled onto her knees and found the access panel electronics area. Wiggling it free she prodded and poked, not really paying much attention but doing everything she needed to do to make the door slide open enough so she could slip in.

She walked through the quiet ship, finding the sleeping quarters she leaned in the door way watching him sleep. She moved silently around the ship to the drive room sitting in the captains chair and curled up. A while later, what ever she did fizzed and popped blowing the electrics in the ship.

It was at this time that Urlock awoke from his slumber, she woke up to being picked up in his large strong arms and carried through to the bedroom.

She hooked herself around his arm, telling him of the previous nights events. As she burried herself into his chest he did his best to comfort her.

He lifted her up onto his chest as she poured her thoughts out to him, hitting him in the chest with frustration. She felt his morning self pressing against her through the sheet. It caught her a little by surprise.

A wicked thought passed through her mind as he wiped her tears, she leaned herself back teasing him, grinding and dancing to music only she could hear. He did his best to "object" she just laughed, knowing that he didn't really.

She leaned in, kissing him and teasing his manhood with her bottom. They joked about where on a ship she hadn't been, and she said on this one, everywhere. They chose the cockpit.

He placed her down on the communications console teasing himself against her pantied self pressing against the material. She reached down putting her nails through the material and ripped it away letting him push it into her slowly at fist then deeper as her walls stretched to take the thickness.

Her implants filled her with endorphines and morpines alowing her to take him deeper as it hit the back wall of her insides. Faster his movements grew and she lifted her legs placing her feet upon his shoulders. Her wetness dripping down over the consoles.

She squeezed her muscles around him, screaming out into the ship and arching her back against the uncomfortable table of buttons and knobs below her. He grunted and growled as he roughly had his way filling her up every which way until he couldn't hold it any more, and with a roar he overfilled her.

She sat up, keeping him inside, lowering her legs and pressing her face against his chest. Just needing to be held.

After some time they seperated heading for a shower. She began to wash him obediently but he pulled away from her, washing himself and telling her to clean the ship. She did as was instructed, very dilligently and came through to his room playfully throwing the rag at him.

He looked angry, she felt uncomfortable and went to disturb Hana instead. After some time she realised she had been gone for most of the day and decided it was probably best she headed back home.

And so she did.

[SWTOR] Beauty Fiend

Scene Setting: Delilah is in a bit of bad mood. As a Sith Lord she has a habit of being a bit.. mental.

Delilah moved a hand to the girls wrist raking her nails down her light blue skin. She pinned the girl down by her throat to the futon. The girl groaned and writhed. Delilah grinned a predatory smile and leaned in to the girl kissing her deeply, her tongue pushing deep into the girls mouth.

Swiftly she rolled the girl over gripping her hair in her fist tightly pulling her up onto her knees. The girl obeyed. Delilah reached her other hand between the girls legs from behind, penetraiting her vaginal hole roughly.

The girl yelped a little and Delilah just growld down at her, leaning over the girls back and biting into the back of her neck. The girl moaned as Deliliah bent her fingers in a come hither motion, massaging the inside of her. Pressing the internal nub of flesh between her fingers.

Delilah's hand became wetter the more she massaged and the harder she bit into the girls neck. The girls arms collapsed, thrusting her butt up into the air as Delilah kept bent over her growling into her ear.

The girl shuddered, wave over wave of pleasure moving through her as Delilah lets go of the back of her neck, a string of salavia and blood hanging from her lips. The girl seems unaware of the danger she may have put herself in.

She pulled her fingers from the girls insides and rolled her over again thrusting her fingers into the girls mouth to lick clean and pressed herself between the girls legs, pulling them up over her shoulders bending the girl in two.

Delilah's hand went to the girls throat again, pushing her head up with her thumb, running it over the girls jawline. Her eyes appeared to glitter like that of a large cat as she studdied the girls physique. The girl gasped, her eyes closed submitting to Delilah's touches.

Her grip tightened, the girl gasped for air, her eyes flinging open. Delilah's lip twitched as she threw the girl to one side.

"Go." She said, and the girl ran.

Excerpt from my RP story [swtor]

Clea felt the warmth of Delilah behind her as she pressed her breasts against Clea's back. She was hot and a little sweaty from her work out. Clea stopped pouring, placing the items down, and leaned back into Delilah's arms.

Delilah wrapped her arms around Clea, cupping each breast in her hands. Clea moaned and kissed up at Delilah's jawline.

Delilah pinched each of Clea's dark pink nipples in her fingers and moved her head to kiss Clea deeply. Clea moaned into the kiss, feeling herself get moist between her legs. She rubbed her legs together as Delilah broke the kiss.

"I have to head into the city today to meet with Darth Ra'zel again." Delilah said, Clea moaned as Delilah didn't stop her pinching of Clea's nipples. "Come into the city with me and have a look around."

Clea nodded and pushed back into Delilah with a moan and a shudder. Delilah chuckled and stopped playing with Clea's nipples, walking away. Clea opned her eyes and pouted at Delilah.

"There is a gift on the bed for you." Delilah said and went towards the shower room.

Clea stood there, moisture dripping down her leg, ready for some action. Her nipples were stiff and the slight cold of the ship made them tingle. She stamped her foot and then headed to the bedroom.

On the bed was a beautiful white dress, trimmed in gold. Clea smiled, Delilah always bought her such nice things. She could hear Delilah in the shower and moved to the door to head in, but it was locked. She sighed, sitting on the bed beside her new dress.

She ran her hand over the material, it was soft, like silk, but a little more tactile than that. Her other hand pressed between her legs, parting her peach like lips, her middle finger massaging the hard nub that had begun to swell. She leaned back, lifting a leg onto the bed. Her finger moved faster, her juices slick and sticky creating just enough lubrication to not cause friction. Another finger joined in, massaging and pinching at her clit as it hardened a little more, excited and in need of attention. Clea stifuled a moan, as she could hear Delilah moving about in the shower, her hand moved faster with an air of urgency.

Tingles swept over her body, from the head of her clit, through her her hips and into her lower stomach as she moved her hand faster. She bit her bottom lip, moaning every so slightly as her hips bucked upwards sending a spray of water into her hand. Her hand stopped moving, but her fingers twiched every so often as her body did too and she laid there panting.

The sound of the shower stopped. Clea moved her hand from between her legs, licking her hand clean and checking her dress to make sure it was ok. She stood as Delilah came from the shower room, water dripping over her naked body.

"You ok?" Delilah asked. Clea nodded and pushed past her to the shower room.

"My turn!" she chimed and closed the door.

Delilah smiled and went to the bed, drying her hair. She smiled at the dress, a fine choice she thought and saw the small wet patch beside it. She looked at the shower room, then back to the bed and picked up the dress and hung it on the wall.

Cravings.

My masochistic side is craving again. Hot skin pinned to cold walls. Fingers and nails trailing up thigh and flesh finding wet, moist panties and pushing or ripping them to one side.

Words I have read that at first scared me now resonate inside me, laughing at me that I don't have that trust with a person any more. People abusing it. This is why we can't have nice things.

I can hear the music surround me. The beat pulsing in my chest. His hand is pressed against my throat, my eyes shut tightly as the light from the club occasionally bleeds into them. His teeth run over my skin, his breath hot and his whispers dirty. The scene is dark and just right. The right time, the right place the right amount of pressure.

His hand moves to my hair, gripping at it at the scalp and pulling my head back bearing my neck. Something cold and sharp feeling then pressing against it.

My thoughts move then to being thrown into a dark room. The click of a gun as I feel the muzzle pressed to my temple. I am on my knees looking around, but the person is in black and their face is not visable. I am blindfolded.

I stay knelt, listening to the boots move around me. Thudding onto the floor.

All these things come at me, fast and hard. Thoughts and feelings. I'm sat naked, running my own nails over my skin, causing red marks and pulling at my hair.

I want these things. I crave the pain I used to be able to take. But when it is given I cower, I hide and I detest it. I tune out.

I wear cuffs to simulate tight hands around my wrists.

My mind is like a movie studio, flashing images at me, some make it some end up on the cutting room floor.

Another one now, his face burried between my legs in a toilet stall, listening to the music pound against the wall outside. Orgasm swelling to the swell of the music.

But I don't trust anyone enough any more to give me this, and the person I do trust doesn't want it, doesn't want this side of me. I'm doomed to be forever vanilla. The safe choice.

Work in Progress

I entered the room, it was nothing special. A bed, large, and well made. A table, wooden, and covered in a white cloth. There were ridges and recesses that looked curious in shape as the cloth dipped and raised over something upon the table. The sunlight, which was slowly leaving us, came through slats in the blind highlighting dust in the air which danced and weaved, disappearing in shadow. The sunlight highlighted spots on the bed that made me want to stretch out naked and feel them up on my skin.

I could still smell the cool, crisp, snowy air from our walk up to the cabin. I could still feel the cold of the air as well as the warmth of the sun upon my naked legs as the the fur jacket he had handed to me at the start of the path, where we had parked the car,  rubbed just below my buttocks. He had ordered me to strip before our trek, and I had at first playfully rejected his order to which he chased me around the car, flinging me into the snow and stripping me bare. My hair was still wet from the ordeal and I studied the room a little more.

He silently pulled the jacket from my body and led me to the bathroom where a warm bath had already been drawn. It was scented with various erotic smells and he held my hand as I climbed in. After being in the cold the warm was tingly against my skin causing my nipples to stiffen even more than the snow had. His hands moved over my skin, soaping me up and cleaning me down. His hands, soft and loving, caressed my back, moving my hair out of the way of the sponge.

(To Be Continued)